I was almost an emotional wreck when I wrote that last post. Then I read it and it got worse. The trouble is, when it comes to Dhruvi, I cant hide it. Everybody else shed tears that day, I had to find my own way of releasing it!
I have been wondering how ironic it is. We worry about how to give the best kind of upbringing to Dhruv, to give him the right values, ethics and sensitivity. And here’s the little brat giving us some intensely profound life-lessons.
He is a sensitive kid and with moral police like all of us around him 🙂 , I am sure will grow up to be a sensitive adult.
When I was a kid, one of my biggest influences was tuku dadei (Bapa’s elder bro), who I think had the magic formula when it came to giving a positive influence to kids. He had a huge shelf of books, a telescope, a wide grin on his face and an extremely casual air around him. As an eight or ten year old, you could go up to him, sit across the table, and talk anything under the sun, like an adult. And in each of those interactions, he would end up telling a nice anecdote, or throw a lateral idea and then open a book and show you something new. He left the moral policing to others, and I think firmly believed that wisdom in its purest form automatically leads you to humility, compassion and sensitivity.
To this date, I do not remember a single occasion when I did something morally wrong, was ill-mannered, or had the reason to hide something when I was around him. There was no need for it. The air was different. You would talk about outer space, try to tell mars from jupiter in the sky, talk about famine in Botswana, or just tell him about how your friends were, or play scrabble.
Very much a new ideas man, he would soak in everything like a sponge. One of those days, (I must have been in college then) I read Osho and Abraham Kuvoor, two completely different idealogies, liked both and was a bit confused about which way to go. I was always the sort who needs a cause, a belief in life. Here were two different ways of thinking, and I didnt know which way to go. I had to choose. No choice, meant no belief system.
I was thinking Abraham Kuvoor when I went to talk to him. He was an atheist, those days. The Osho cause seemed totally lost.
As always, the man surprised me.
‘Both are idealogies, concepts.’ he said. ‘Read more, dig deeper and you will find that some ideas go deeper than others. And more importantly, you need not have a belief system right now. You cant. This is learning time. As you read more and more, you will slowly form your own belief system. It wont be Osho’s, nor Kuvoor’s. It would be yours.‘
Then he gave me one his best analogies. He talked about the rose plant. ‘Concepts, idealogies are like the rose plant. There were different processes to ensure they flower. Each of these different processes when followed, give a different output. If you blindly follow one process, you will always get the output that the process intends. But you would never know what would have been if you followed a different process, a different sequence of steps. Osho’s ideas would take you to Osho’s goals, and Kuvoor’s would take you to his. ‘, he said.
The key is not about the kind of flower you get in the end, but understanding of the process involved. If you know whats going on, you can formulate your own. But before you decide to do that, before you decide your goal, your passion or your belief system, you need to see what is out there.
The key learning I got out of this was to never ever say ‘NO’ to an idea, idealogy or concept, without reading up. Extreme reactions were out, and so were rigid belief systems. The focus was no longer on finding the belief system that I would be passionate about, but about understanding the ones that I got introduced to. Not to dismiss them, without examining.
What makes the concept great, is not because you like it. Its because what it is.